Rejection keeps on bothering me but should not

"Marami ka pa kakainin bigas"...

Wow, relatable quote for me these days... Sa dami ng mga ginagawa ko, kulang pa... I've been experiencing a lot of rejections lately... I've been receiving below-the-belt remarks. And guess what, there were times na aabot na ako sa puntong natatanong ko, ano nga ba worth ko?

But then I realized, there are just some everyone's standards. And mine perhaps does not meet their standards. Well, still, it does not mean to stop right and there and accept those things and let myself demotivated.

Haha. I admit that I let myself drown in loneliness and frustration for the past weeks and that sums up why I had to rush to the hospital and took my hydro cortisone shot.

I just told myself after I went back home that these rejections are just redirecting me to something meaningful... Who knows, di ba? Once I gave up, wala ding mangyayari. Ako lang ang talo. A friend told me that my determination led me to where I am now. Bakit ko hahayaang mawala na naman ako? I was once a lost sheep and I don't want to become one again.

Why should I let them define my worth? So what, kung they keep on rejecting me? Kung ayaw nila sa akin? "Di 'wag. I am their loss but they are not my loss.

Those places may not be the place for me. But I know, if not soon, someday I will be in a niche designed for me.

To the One who Accompanied Me in My Roller coaster Ride

That’s how I would explain my experience being with you.

I do this to remember all the good memories I had with you. I want to forget what I am going through right now. I want to feel happy rather than imbibing the sadness that would like to embrace me. Yes, I am down and I am doing this to set myself into good mood.

I knew you did those things not to convey any meaning and I really appreciate it because in the short span of time, I felt I was special. People around us told me not to believe in every special thing you’ll show me because they say that it is already part of you who can make someone fall for you especially if you think that you need the person. But I ignored them and I even accompanied you in the way I can. Three months to be exact, I felt the happiness I longed for a long time. Yes, there were times that I want to believe the people around us but deep in my heart, I felt the sincerity in everything you did to me. Though from the start, I know and it’s clear that everything was nothing. 

However, I just want to say thank you for everything you do. There were times I asked why you’re doing those things but I decided not to find the answers because I just wanted to feel the moment that some time in my life, there was someone who made me feel that I am special and I knew from the start, as clear as the sunshine that these had no other meaning... 

But I really am appreciating someone like you...

I appreciate you when you cracked jokes with the wittiness you had. I laughed probably because it was you who threw a joke.

I appreciate you when you asked me if I was still alive when I got sick as if I had a terminal disease. I did not get offended probably because it was you who asked me.

I appreciate you when you invited me to have a coffee only to find out that you just needed someone to save you from your long hour business meeting… I did not get mad probably because it was you who invited me. 
There were times that I was on a bliss because of you...

But there were also times that I was in pain just being with you.  

Being with you is like a roller coaster ride...

And I am thankful for that roller coaster ride probably because it was you who accompanied me.